Guilt and dark past are a part of our life but making them permanent is a personal choice.
You must have the guilt of past mistakes, broken relationships, over-emphasized ego and selfishness. Your neighbour has the same pain, her cousin also and the whole world too.
Yet while a part of our life is occupied with guilt and past, some people come out of the trap and live. They weigh their life more than hardships.
To be more than a person killed by guilt, you need to embrace some techniques.
9 Techniques that will free you from Guilt and Past
1) Plants don’t Grow in the Dark:
You will agree that the situation when Guilt and painful Past overcome you, are dark ones. They take all the lights away and put you in an alone situation of darkness. But you can’t grow there.
Like plants need light to grow and live you also need light. Still, if you keep shutting the door and putting yourself in a dark room of guilt and past, how will you grow? Leave growing, how will you live?
Do you want to spend your life fearing the ghosts of Guilt and Past? If the answer is no, then grow a plant in your house. And as it grows, give your guilt away and grow with it.
Life is the light you need and you have to find it yourself.
2) Be Gentle: It’s About You
Suppose you were a doctor and you want to remove a lump from your patient’s heart. Then you would gently pierce his skin, locate the heart, and cut out the lump. You won’t stab him, right? Because force and harshness could kill him. So, be gentle towards you. It’s OK to make mistakes. Don’t kill yourself for it.
You may not realise now but guilt and resentment is the cause of cancer for many people. Don’t be the reason for your death.
3) Feel the Burden Literally
Whenever you feel surrounded by deep guilt and past mistakes, try to realise the weight literally.
Took something heavy, a thick book, or a vessel. When you feel sad put this weight on your hands and feel the burden. The weight of your guilt is heavier than his weight. You have to realise that it is not just a mere fleeting thought but a burden for life. And to remove the weight of the past, do the next technique.
Also Read: Shift in Perspective
4) Make a Guilt and Smile bin
Take two bowls, boxes or bins. Call one a guilt bin and other a smile bin. When guilt hits and your past attacks you with pain, write on a page and throw with all your force in the guilt bin. Imagine throwing your worry forever. And in turn of the worry pick up one slip from the smile Bin. Your smile bin contains things that you love. They could be your dreams, name of the person you love, favourite song, your passion etc.
5) Cut the Thought Kite on Time
Your thoughts are like a kite. But they can be controlled and are your tamed kites. You have their strings in your hands and if you keep the string in your hand then your thoughts will construct you. If you let the thought kite wander, it will never stop from flying and will draw you in hopelessness.
When your thought kite flies out of control, stop yourself then, stop thinking, stop running your thoughts wildly. Cut the thought fly on time, else your thoughts will cut your spirits, hopes, heart and you. Choose smile over guilt.
6) 3R’s work: Replace, Repeat and Relive
R is my favourite alphabet and could be yours too in fighting guilt and broken past.
The first thing you have to do is replace. Replace your guilt with life and past with the present. You can only go either forward or backwards, only in one direction. Replace going forward when backward becomes your way.
Then repeat replacing the thoughts. Replace ‘I am nothing’ to ‘I am significant’. It would feel strange initially but you will make it a habit soon. If you can’t change your feelings then act like it. Fake it till you make it. In films we see acting yet we are convinced about every scene, steal this idea. Act like you want your life to be. Choose to be the hero.
Replace and repeat will themselves teach you how to relive. But please don’t hesitate in stepping in life once again. Relive.
7) Choose Escape or Life
A child never chooses excuses as an escape over life. Every child has life on priority. Not all adults will agree but we do have a child in us. It might be lost, silent, sad, but there is a child in us. Chanting your guilt is nothing more than an escape and you somewhere love being called a pity. Let your focus on life, for the child at least.
Also Read: Positivity Rules
8) Forgive and Forget to Move Forward
Forward has two mantras either forgive or forget. And if you settle for both then it is a bonus. If forgetting the people who broke your heart is tough then try to forgive him/her. If forgiving is huge for now, then try to forget. Forgive or forget or both to be forward in life, do one thing at least. And while focussing on others, forgive your mistakes, forget your blunders. You are important than any guilt, bigger than your past.
9) Create Achievement List
Recall your achievements and create a list. You have done a lot in your life and you can go even further. Don’t let guilt and past stand on your list. The list is for achievements, not for setbacks. Your achievement list will give a reason to thank your life and love it. List people that support you and things that uplift you and engrave them in your heart.
Why focus on a handful of mistakes when you have a tsunami of achievements? And at last apart from these 9 Techniques That Will Free You from Guilt and Past, have confidence in you. Because everything is temporary if your confidence in you is permanent.